lookin back.. lookin forward

Posted: September 7, 2007 in Uncategorized

lookin back.. lookin forward

Hrm. I wish i had something worth reporting on. Life is OK with me. I have my issues.. many as they may be … 1, 2, 3, maybe more inter-related mini issues… but, ya know, all except one (ok, maybe a lil mini one too) have nothing to do with me. I wish i could just slough it all off an not care, but ya know. thats just not my nature.

This summer.. I have been hurt and have seen others get hurt. I made some bad choices and i feel like the human condition is punishing me (aka emotions in thier various forms… and very strong sometimes too.) Granted there were very many rewarding and exhilariting moments too. That was at the beginning… everything was so new… I was outside of my comfort zone and beginning to be ok with that. But then something changed. Things changed in a variety of ways in all sorts of different situations, with both friends and family.  I had a wild summer and now I dont know what to think. Was that it? was that the extent of my ‘crazy days’… Granted… im going into Theatre… theres bound to be ‘crazy’ there, but still.  My plan HAS to be to go out and get a good-ish paying job .. i really cant afford anything else. So, wild and crazy has to chill out for awhile.

Sigh.
things ive learned..

  • Change is good. Change is inevitable… usually for the best… but you cannot ask a person to change.
  • Why invest in something when there isnt any returns….?
  • You cannot trust nor depend on anyone but yourself…. and even then, its iffy.
  • Men will always let you down.
  • Always be ready for adventure.
  • Vegas isnt necessarily a good choice…
  • Some people deserve karma… real bad
  • good people do bad things sometimes…
  • bad things happen to good people
  • you cant break the rules if there werent any in the first place
  • Silence is not the way…. we need to talk about it….

So here I am stuck in limbo.. stuck between the summer and the last year of my college education. stuck between knowing and not knowing what i want from life.. from people…
stuck between who i am, and who i want to be.
stuck between now and all my potential future options

Its a MAD world…mad world…

Le Sigh…

now im curious who actually reads these… wouldja let me know if ya did plz thanks….

love ya

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